I have always been curious as to the secret Victoria has been so good at keeping all these years...is it how to keep your man, how to wear a size XL thong with confidence, how to make cellulite sexy??? After some soul searching, or rather butt digging, I think I have it figured out.
Within a matter of a week, my underwear stopped fitting. They just stopped. Literally I was sitting down at work last Thursday, and I had the realization that the elastic on the legs of my panties was causing me pain - not discomfort, but pain. I made it 5 months wearing the same clothes (thanks belly band), and in a matter of hours I apparently gained 12 lbs - in my ass. There is nothing more exciting than knowing you have to go shopping for bigger underwear. Not sexy, but bigger.
Standing in front of the wall 'o panties at Target on Saturday, I consider my options. Of course there are the "Just my Size" varieties, which I have spent my whole life desperately avoiding by slim margins - so there is no way in hell I am voluntarily purchasing those, I would rather my thighs bleed. I have a solid philosophy in "women's" size undies - "once you go fat, you'll never go back..." meaning, if I were to put on a size 10 underwear, why would I ever want to go back to a smaller size?? Imagine that level of comfort...now imagine a thong - I just avoid the temptation altogether.
Next, I examine the Hanes and Fruit of the Loom options....I consider myself a sporty spice type underwear wearer, meaning I like the athletic string bikini varieties. Full coverage, but not homely, comfy but cute. Too bad I currently apparently wear the biggest size they make in this style, so I have very limited options in the next size up if I'm going to avoid the Just My Size panties that are now mocking me. I settle for the classic bikini Hanes in a size up, comfort fit Fruit of the Loom in my current size and a Hanes bikini in (zoiks!), two sizes up (for my last trimester, I reason). Guess which ones I'm wearing today? They are roomy, too big, and wonderful and my ass will probably never be back in a string bikini - inadvertently proving my own theory.
So what's Vikki's Secret?
Me thinks it's birth control, or surrogacy, adoption......maybe V(a)S(estomy)?
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