Confessions of a Cereal Killer

Last night I ate two bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner, two days before that it was three bowls of Cocoa Pebbles, I occasionally throw in a bowl of Raisin Bran just for good measure and appearances, and I truly wish that Captain Crunch wasn't so brutal on my gums, because it too would be in my normal rotation. Those crunch berries are the things that dreams are made of.

Until recently, I was a raging Anti Dentite - trips to the dentist usually resulted in my feeling bad about myself, smoking too much, drinking too much coffee, not flossing often enough. But now I would give anything for a good teeth cleaning and a little gum relief. Another thing no one seems to talk about is the rapid decline of your oral health as a result of pregnancy. True, I'm sure all of the candy hasn't helped. But I've gone from a zero cavity gal to snaggle tooth in a matter of months. I gave up Captain Crunch months ago because I'm quite certain that along with the cut gums, my teeth were chipping with every chomp on delicious berries.

I haven't been posting as frequently as I would like these past few weeks. I think the reason is that things are becoming less and less amusing as this pregnancy wears on. What was once playful commentary on things that were stressful/unfair regarding pregnancy has turned into a panicked realization that another person will be here very shortly.

At what point do you know you're ready? I don't feel ready - in terms of ready to be done with pregnancy - CHECK, I'm ready for that. But ready to have a baby, at my house, chilling in our spare bedroom, eating food that is made from my body (STILL GROSS) - I'm not so sure I'm ready for all of that. I'm ready to meet her, and love her, and hold her, but to have someone think about me, the way I think of my mom...that's crazy to me. I can't fathom it.

Three of my close friends have recently had babies, they are all adorable and when I see them it is amazing to see how naturally all these women have transistioned to motherhood. While holding a baby this past weekend, it was crazy for me to think that inside my belly there is a little person that looks like me and Chris - a full grown baby is in my stomach. With eyes, and ears, and little toes, and a little butt that she is so fond of jamming into my right rib cage. I feel like an idiot for not truly understanding how this has happened...I mean I know how it happened, but for those of you that know me well - I think it is still unreal to think that in approximately three weeks I will give birth to a baby. I think it was more realistic when I joked about having a unicorn. Seriously, this is me we're talking about, with a baby. I feel like this should be some type of documentary, about the elusive tomboy/workaholic/partier that curses like a sailor (or like her mother) and has the temper of her father and has maybe held a baby a total of 5 times in her life. A friend at work makes fun of me and always tells me to stop acting like I'm the first woman to become pregnant...but sometimes thats what I feel like, this all seems so unreal to me.

My two best friends in Michigan and TX call me occasionally, and we just laugh, because I'm having a baby. For most of you that may not seem too funny, but trust me, it is. Of all the things I've ever been accused of...being overly nurturing is not one of them. Considerate? yes. Well mannered? yes. Sympathetic? yes. Funny? sometimes. Hard working? yes. Emotional? definitely. Nurturing? not so much. Just ask my husband, he will tell you I speak the truth. "I don't care if you have a fever, why are you still sleeping? There are things to be done around this house..."

I'm sure everything will fall into place, and soon enough it will all make sense, and my maternal instincts will kick in, and we'll have this super cool baby with her dads intellect and her moms good looks, her dads speed and her moms coordination, her dads creativity and her moms discipline....hopefully her dads appetite and metabolism....these fruity pebbles are not doing either of us any favors I'm sure.