the baby made me do it...

Chris and I just got back from a quick weekend cruise to Nassau. Again, this was another trip that was planned pre-pregnancy and I was a bit skeptical about the amount of fun I would have on a boat for four days with no alchohol. Luckily I was pleasantly surprised and for the most part it was a relaxing weekend, well - for me at least.

Chris got to listen to me bitch at him every time he glanced at a beer or gave me a concerned look as I made my third trip to the all you can eat ice cream bar. I wish I could be one of those cool wives that have no problem with their husband drinking while they are pregnant, I really do want to be that person. But alas I am not; in fact, I am about as close to being that girl as I am to being on next months cover of Sports Illustrated. It's not that I don't want to be these things, it's just that he and I must come to terms with the fact that I will never be that kind of wife. I am the kind of wife that laughs at off color jokes, can hang all night drinking beers, and that can have an intelligent debate about a variety of issues, but unfortunately I'm also the kind of wife that can hang all night drinking beers (borderline alchoholic?), laughs at off color jokes (insensitive?) and can have an intelligent debate about a variety of issues (argumentative?). So if we look at the latter - a pregnant, argumentative, insensitive, borderline alchoholic probably doesn't have sympathy for a beat down husband that just wants a few beers to relax. ("You think YOU need a drink??!!")

In an effort to keep me entertained because I couldn't do a lot of the cruise activities, Chris offered that we play mini golf on the top level of the cruise ship. It was a nice gesture and the first half of the game was fun. Right before hole 6, Chris ducks into an enclosed net area that is meant for people to practice their driving swing - he took a took a nice slow statuesque swing at the ball and I got excited to show him the swing I had learned a few months ago from a brief one time lesson I got from a golf pro. I duck into the enclosure with him, line myself up and take a whack at the ball... now I knew he was still standing behind me, it just for some reason did not cross my mind that swinging a golf club in that close proximity of another person might not be the best idea. Like I said, I was really excited to show him what I learned. Chris, I think, thought I was going to take a nice, slow, practice type swing like he did. Nope, I swung away, missed the ball but found his head. The temple and ear area to be exact. Head bleeding, yelling, crying (on my part) and medical assistance ensued. This was followed by continued head bleeding, concussion headaches and nausea, more crying (again on my part), and a lot of dead silence. While Chris knows this was an accident, a very, very stupid and easily preventable accident at that, I think he was justified to have little to say to the person that almost took his ear off for a few hours. A few inches in a different direction and we're talking gorged eyeballs and not just head trauma. The thing is, I don't know WHAT I was thinking about- seriously, those of you that know me well know that I am the biggest worry wart on the planet - if there is a way to get hurt doing something, I am the one that will be the first to identify it. I am generally not one to go swinging golf clubs willy nilly. Now I'm aware of the fact that I'm vastly lacking in the common sense arena, I don't want to misrepresent my own self knowledge- but this was still somewhat unlike me.

I feel absolutely terrible and there is little I can do to make it better. For some reason, spoken apologies just don't seem to cut it in this type of situation and Hallmark doesn't dip its toes in the waters of the things real apologies are needed for. They just say "I'm sorry I forgot your birthday," or "I'm sorry about our argument," but I've never seen an "I"m sorry I bashed your head in with a golf club for no apparent reason" card on the shelves. I am hopeful that Chris will be ok, but he might still need a cat scan to make sure there is no internal bleeding. This was a very serious accident and a seriously shitty way to spend the last night of our vacation. Any advice on what I can do to make it up to him (besides the whole pushing a living creature of my body scene that will be happening shortly) would be greatly appreciated.

Worst thing is, his head trauma card totally trumps my pregnancy card. There goes my leverage.